Sunday, June 5, 2011

Having a little fun at Fast Food joints

1. Ask if they want fries with the money

2. Order an item from another place (i.e. the 8pc. original bucket)

3. Ask for extra meat

4. Order a Big Mac in a Crispy Chicken box (or something similar)

5. Order an apple pie box

6. Order a sundae without the container

7. Ask them to make sure the cow is dead this time

8. Ask for change for a penny; when they say they can't, ask if they really want your business or not

9. Say no when they ask if they can take your order

10. Ask if you can talk to Ronald

11. Repeat everything they say

12. When they repeat the order, say that's not right, then repeat it exactly as they did

13. Ask how much the sign outside cost

14. Tell them Ray Kroc is outside

15. If they say that he's dead, respond "Not anymore!"

16. Recite Hamlet's entire soliloquy, adding "cheeseburger" at various places

17. Specify the order is to go

18. Order a roll of toilet paper

19. Order a Big Mac without the Mac

20. Ask if they have Small Mac's because you're not very hungry

21. Question them as to how to say "French Fries" in Italian

22. Hand them your garbage sack, and ask if they can recycle it

23. Ask for 45 mints and 1 French Fry, no salt

24. Order a box of napkins

25. Ask what kind of ketchup they use, then order 40 of the little paper containers for it

26. Order a semicolon

27. Try to work the words "downloading" and "FTP" into the conversation

28. Tell them you came to "get a few"

29. Order a value meal one higher than what they have, or maybe just ... "Yeah, I'll take a #27, super-sized" (then ... "Well you had it YESTERDAY!)

30. Ask if they take American Express

31. Order the source code to a cheeseburger

32. Make modem-like noises

33. Ask for a Quarter with a large side order of

34. Refer to ordering as "uploading".

35. Ask if this is really McDonald's, or just another JFK cover-up

36. Say "Testing, testing 1 2 3 ..."

37. Drive in backwards

38. If the restaurant has two windows, ask where the third is

39. Say, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number." Then pull away normally.

40. Make sure they know that you want "pepperoni and extra cheese" on that

41. Recite your order in poem form

42. ... and begin it with "A poem - by Henry Gibson"

43. Use large words, such as "condiments" and "intermingled." For example, "Please do not intermingle the condiments on the quarter pound of beef that is going to be specially made for my possession."

44. Ask if its the party to whom you are speaking.

45. If they sound irritated or are laughing, tell them "please treat the order box with respect"

46. Ask for a cheeseburger with a view.

47. Repeat everything they say.

47.5 Repeat everything they say.

48. Ask if they can give you the fries without putting them through "that horrible torture of cooking."

49. Scream "Call 911!" and speed away

variation: scream "Call 912!" and speed away

50. Say your favorite lines from movies. i.e., I canna do it Captain! She's gonna blow!, Show me the MONEY!, or Do ya feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?.... Fries? I don't need no stinking fries!

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